Outlets - For the New Mom
Motherhood completely shifts your mindset in life, makes you take a step back and realize how many little things that are so important that we have taken for granted. Having a job every day to support the family, a roof over our heads to keep us warm, dry and comfortable, cars to takes us place to place if we run out of something, washer and dryer in our house to make life a lot easier, clean water to drink, cook and shower in, food stored in pantries, dishwasher, and refrigerator. My list could go on and on. I am incredibly grateful for the little things these days since it makes me realize how much we truly have. Being grateful every day is one way that helps me get through the days while being a full time stay at home mom. Other ways that help me get through my day include praying, writing, mom support tribe, and exercise/fresh air. I myself would like to express how important these little things mean to me in addition to helping me stay sane while enjoying these days mostly at home.
I like to emphasize how important it is to get time to either pray, meditate, journal etc. for an outlet during this time navigating uncharted territory as a new mom in addition to the current condition with COVID.
A little routine I like to do, is pray when I wake up, first always thanking God for everything we have and that my husband still has a full-time job and can work from home. We are all staying safe and healthy since he currently has not been going into an office and bringing back germs to the house potentially. I like to ask for patience even though I am mentally and physically exhausted, to provide patience for my little one throughout each day. For example, when his cry seems never-ending, I must stop for a minute and take a deep breath. Okay, Molly he is trying to communicate what is he needing at this moment and time. This is one main way for him to communicate at his developmental age, tuning into his needs without the distraction of everything else going on in my brain.
When he naps I like to journal how the day is going and write out what works for us and what hasn’t worked in certain situations so I am able to go back and see, this worked for this situation but this did not, since the memory has definitely changed with motherhood or at least I feel like forgetting happens a lot more. I have lots of reminder notes around the house or on my phone.
I’ll write on post it’s and put them on the bathroom mirror or closet door that I pass by during the day so I can glance real quick when walking by, they would say for example, give your self-grace, be patient with yourself, you’re doing your best, or take a deep breathe.
You’re doing the best you can with your coffee/tea (insert any drink) in hand, lack of sleep, and putting one foot in front of the other to get through this day since you never know how the day will turn out.
Outlets for me is how I get through the day. For myself I like to pray throughout the day, and I enjoy writing but that works for me. Do something that makes you feel refreshed or can somewhat refocus your priorities/ things you need to accomplish with your little one for the day.
Another huge outlet that has helped me during the transition into motherhood was reconnecting with past colleagues and past college friends that are also new moms. Just being able to support each other with resources, what your buying for your little one, what brands to buy, how sleeping is going, how often are feeds, does this ever change, milestones, and again the list can go on and on. It’s truly wonderful to just be able to text friends in our tech savvy generation to just check in to see how everyone’s doing, being told you’re doing a great job, reminder hey did you eat today or whatever it may be. It’s a great tribe of people supporting you through this huge transition in life. Your mom tribe as I like to call them are your go to people to ask questions about anything regarding motherhood. I have to say I’m truly blessed to know so many great friends that all happened to be new moms at the same time! It’s great because they truly understand what you’re going through in this day and age as a new mother. As I feel every generation has their own difficulties and simplicities. Thank you to each one of you!
Lastly, exercise and fresh air is usually a great break if your little one does not mind riding in the stroller of course luckily for me this is a break. I know I have heard different stories from friends where some babies hated to be in the stroller and had to find a right fit as they all have their own individual needs to be met. My little guy will fall asleep if I take him for a walk in the stroller while I can get some fresh air and movement to wake me up! We try to take family walks once a night in the evening with my husband if it’s not too hot and we aren’t completely exhausted. It is nice to have that time; my husband helps push the stroller giving me a break and I get to talk to another adult which I feel I took for granted before staying home with my little guy. Fresh air, talking out your day with your spouse, and movement is a great way to end the day while watching the sun set depending on the time of year. If we are unable to go for a walk due to the heat. I would even just step out in the backyard shaded area and take a few deep breathes of fresh air and throw the ball around for our dog. A little breeze to your face, deep breaths, and a new view or environment to distract you to slow down the fast-paced mom brain for just a couple minutes while not worrying about everything you feel you need to accomplish.
Allowing myself to utilize these outlets has been an effective way of managing my stress as a mom, I would imagine all are aware of our never-ending to-do list. Utilizing gratitude, prayer, writing in a journal/ post its, having your mom support tribe, and exercise have been my personal saving grace while reminding my brain to slow down and enjoy these moments with my little guy as I am reminded very often how fast it will go by.
Signing off for now, feel free to reach out if you need to add to your mom tribe! Always happy to help or here as a sounding board if you just need to someone to listen!
(Side note: One huge reason I’m writing out my experiences as a new mom, I truly wish people were a lot more honest and upfront with me about some aspects of motherhood. I understand the perspective of not trying to scare news moms or every mom experience something completely different which I 100% agree with but I do enjoy shedding some light on the subject in a positive and more informational way. I love helping others gain information and navigating what works best for their personal family life.)
